


Take me home

by theamagic



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Childhood to Adulthood, M/M, Mention of abuse, Pynch Week 2018, adam finds a home, adam's journey, character exploration kinda?, pynch are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 17:26:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15466386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theamagic/pseuds/theamagic
Summary: Adam's journey to finding a home.





	Take me home

**Author's Note:**

> This was done a bit quickly so sorry in advanced for any mistakes.

Adam knew his family wasn’t like the others. He noticed how his mother never picked him up from school with a cheery smile and arms open for a hug. Or how his father never ruffled his hair for one of his antics. Or how the other kids had bruises from falling when playing, not made by those who were supposed to love you the most. But never did he notice the extent of that difference until a school project.

 

The project was quite straightforward since it was aimed at eleven-year-olds. Write a short poem about what home means to you. And it should have been easy to do for most children, but not for Adam. His teacher had told them ‘don’t describe your houses, I want you to tell me what makes you feel happy, what makes safe’. Then, she had asked the class to tell them what made them feel safe: my mum’s hugs, my grandma’s house, sleeping in my parent’s bed; they all seemed to have an answer. Adam had nothing to say.

 

Most days after school, Adam went to the local library. He liked being surrounded by books and the quiet they offered. The librarian was also nice, she would sometimes sneak some candies to give them to him while he read. Though the best advantage of it was staying away from the trailer for as long as possible. There were times when his father wouldn’t mind him staying in the library, in fact, he prefered it when Adam was away; other times, nothing would appease him, not even his son’s absence.

That day in particular, Adam had to finish his assignment. He kept thinking about what made him feel safe, at home, but everything he could think of kept being clouded over the eerie presence of his father. How could anything ever make you feel secure if you know when you go back home it could be taken away? 

In the end, he chose to write about what he was really feeling, it may have not been the happiest, but it was the truth.

 

‘Home is the place I go to after a long day,

a place filled with warmth and hugs and jokes, 

a place with food waiting for me at the table,

a place where fear is replaced by happiness,

where arms are there to comfort,not to hurt,

where monsters are just a part of dreaming.

Home is where I am loved for being me.’

 

Back at the trailer, sat in his moonlight lit bed, he read the poem with a small A written on the top of the page. Looking out and observing the stars, he made himself a promise. To find a home. With his body hurting and cruel words running through his mind, it felt impossible. But Adam knew himself, he knew he wouldn’t stop fighting for what he wanted. Someday, that dream would become a reality.

 

____________________

 

After a long day of Aglionby and work, all Adam wanted to do was sleep. Exhaustion weighed on his body making every step a hardship. His mind was also weary and he knew the only thing that would help was sleep. But, he needed to study for a quiz for the next day, so he allowed himself to have a hot shower before he started. 

 

Studying in bed was never the best option, but he granted himself that small pleasure. Although he knew almost everything, he still revised, nothing but perfection would do. That’s why at almost midnight he hadn’t finished. 

 

He decided to stretch his legs and in the meantime, tidy up his room. Laundry was thrown in a corner, ready to be done; books were neatly piled up on his desk, with papers and pens around them; candy wrappers on the floor that he had not bought, but belonged to the other tentative inhabitant of this apartment. The whole place wasn’t much, but it was Adam Parrish’s nothing. It was more of a home than what he had had in the past. It still wasn’t enough, but it was a step in the right direction.

 

While doing this, he reached for Cabeswater. He had been doing this more and more lately in order to feel at ease. The forest was a calming friend, there for him when he needed it the most, making him feel appreciated, less lonely. Its presence filled the apartment, the fresh scent of trees and nature in the air, relaxing him by the second. If he closed his eyes, he would be there, in Cabeswater, in the magician’s realm. He was about to do it, but knocks on his door, took him out of his mind. 

 

“Come in,” Adam said, he didn’t even need to ask who that person was. Ronan Lynch came through his door, and for a moment, Adam had to remind himself that Ronan was actually there and was not an apparition from Cabeswater.

 

“What are you doing here, Lynch?” Ronan usually had an excuse for coming: Gansey is tired of Chainsaw’s noises, Gansey asked me to bring you these notes, I was bored; but some other, more honest times, he came without giving a reason. Adam liked having him there, him being there felt natural. He was as much a part of the space as the everlasting pillars of the Church, there wasn’t much that could make him not belong there. When Adam thought that, he didn’t know if he was referring to Ronan’s presence in the Church or in his life, the answer was there but he was hesitant to reach for it.

 

“I was around,” Ronan answered, without meeting his eyes. His eyes scanned the room and landed on the books on his bed. “Still studying,Parrish? Stop being a nerd and go to sleep.”

 

Adam had to suppress a groan. “Yes, there’s a quiz tomorrow, but I’m sure you knew.”

 

“Of course, Parrish, I’ve been studying all day,” Ronan replied after rolling his eyes. Adam laughed slightly and went back to his books while Ronan made himself feel at home on the floor. Adam could feel Ronan’s eyes on him from time to time, and he could listen to him clearing his throat as if to speak, but backing down at the last second. After a couple of times, Adam put his book down and locked eyes with Ronan.

 

“You’re taking too long, I want to go to sleep”

 

Adam was suddenly upset, “No one is telling you to stay here, if you want to sleep then go.”

 

“No, Parrish, I mean-”

 

After a couple of silent seconds, Adam said, “What?”

 

Ronan sighed, as if what he was about to say pained him, “I could help you if you want.”

 

And that was a surprise, “You? Studying? Are you sure you’re not a clone?”

 

“Haha,” Ronan said dryly. “Do you want my help or not?”

 

“Sure, but don’t distract me.” 

 

“I promise not to.” And in fact, he didn’t. They studied together until it became too late and their eyes were dropping. Then, they got ready for bed. Ronan took his usual space next to Adam’s bed, bundled in blankets. He was asleep in a matter of seconds.

 

In spite of his fatigue, Adam stayed up for a while longer, observing Ronan. It wasn’t in a creepy way, it was just that he seemed so calm, all his walls down. The first couple of times Ronan had stayed over, Adam had been surprised about how quickly he could fall asleep, how comfortable he seemed around Adam. He had thought it had to do with the fact that they were in St. Agnes, but he knew better now. Adam didn’t want to put a name to what he was feeling, if he was honest with himself, he was slightly afraid of the warmth that filled his chest when they were together. He hadn’t felt that before, but it was nice. In fact, it was better than nice, and yet he wouldn’t name it. But as each day went by, and the two boys grew closer, the answer was more attainable.

 

With the sound of leaves sweeping in the wind of Cabeswater, and the feeling of peace cursing through his veins, he took one last look at Ronan, closed his eyes and slipped into a dreamless slumber.

 

____________________

 

College was just as Adam had expected, and nothing like it. For years, he had dreamt of what it would be like, to have finally achieved what he had been working towards for years. And it felt incredibly satisfying to walk through the campus’ fields every day to go to class. To be in a room filled with people who yearned for knowledge, to be taught by those who were the leading authorities in their fields, to be praised by his professors and not feel ashamed of his achievements. 

 

Some days, that joy was clouded by the longing of seeing Ronan and Opal. He missed them with a burning passion, and sometimes it got to be too much, and the only thing that could calm him was calling Ronan. They didn’t even need to talk, but just knowing he was there helped him immensely. Or simply doing something that reminded him of Ronan, like watching those stupid animal videos he kept sending Adam. There was once month left until spring break. Until he was able to go back to the Barns. He could already picture it in his mind: lazy mornings in bed; spending time with Opal; walks along the fields of the Barns; being happy around his boyfriend. 

 

The last time before he went back was always the hardest. Time seemed to mock him and go by slower than usual. In addition, his days were dedicated to studying and making himself drink some water instead of coffee, so he didn’t have much time to call Ronan, just texts in the morning and to check up on him during the day. Ronan understood this, it had been difficult at the beginning, but now that their relationship was stronger and that they were communicating better, it wasn’t their biggest issue. 

 

For the past week, Adam hadn’t had much time to talk, but he took advantage of those few minutes in between classes to call Ronan, who picked up at the second ring.

 

“Parrish,” he could hear the smile in Ronan’s voice which made Adam smile in return.

 

“Hey, how are you? I don’t have a lot of time, I just wanted to check up on you”

 

“It’s okay, Adam,” Ronan’s voice had gone softer, sensing his distress. “All is good, Opal’s been running all morning chasing squirrels around.”

 

“Don’t let them bite her,” Adam said, knowing it would never happen.

 

“That won’t happen, she’s too slow.” They stayed quiet, trying to find a way to say everything they wanted in the span of minutes. Ronan was the one who broke it, and what he said didn’t make sense to Adam at first. 

 

“Twenty days.”

 

For a moment Adam was lost for words, he knew Ronan expressed his love in the little things, but sometimes, it still took him by surprise. 

 

“Have you been counting?” Adam said, trying not to smile too hard.

 

“Yes, Parrish, you got me. I’ve been counting the days until you come back home, I’m a big softie,” He tried to pass the last part as sarcasm, but Adam knew it was true.

 

“You miss me,” Adam said in a low voice.

 

Ronan sighed. “I guess I do, Adam. Don’t spread it, it will ruin my reputation.”

 

“Right, we don’t want that to happen.” Ronan laughed softly and they stayed in silence for a couple of seconds, taking everything in. 

 

“I have to go, big exam coming”

 

“You’re going to crush it, nerd. Bye” Adam could hear him moving, as if he was about to hang up, but then he said, “I love you”

 

“I love you, too, Ronan. See you soon.”

 

Adam went into his class, smiling. 

 

20 days until he went home. 

 

He couldn’t wait for it.

 

____________________

 

When Adam opened his eyes that Saturday morning, he was gifted with the sight of a sleeping Ronan. It was a quite unusual one since Ronan was the one that woke up first most mornings. Adam took the opportunity to observe his husband, like he had done many times over the years. In his totally unbiased opinion, he had grown more handsome as time passed by. Adam always thought that a person looked better when they were happy, and that was what Ronan was. Happy. After some self-indulgent minutes, Adam got up to make breakfast. He wasn’t an expert cook by all means, Ronan did most of the cooking, but he knew enough to get by. 

 

As he went down the stairs of his house, he recalled the things he could see. He tended to do that quite often. Ronan would sometimes ask him why he sometimes was in his mind, looking at his home. And Adam would tell him that he was just observing. It wasn’t only that. He was trying to get everything in his mind, as many little details as he could ingrain in his brain. 

The crooked framed picture that no matter how many times they fixed it, it would continue to go down in the right. The stain in the kitchen wall from the time Opal and him had tried to flip pancakes without Ronan’s help. The scratches on the living room floor from the skates Ronan had dreamt for Opal. The stars that filled her room, making it seem as if she was a part of the constellations. The plants that were all over the house by Adam’s request. The dogs’ toys all over the floor. He could go on and on, detailing every single thing in their house. He had taken his time to memorise it, he needed to remember. The place they had built together as a family. 

 

As he continued to cook, he felt someone moving behind him. Arms hugging him from behind, lips kissing his cheek. A “good morning” whispered in his good ear. Smiles shared. Steps on the second floor. The smell of coffee in the air. He took everything in, letting it fill him with absolute bliss. 

 

As Ronan, Opal and him were sat on the table eating, and jokes and laughter were shared, Adam took a second to remember it all. Ronan’s everlasting smile, Opal’s joyous laughter. Home. That word had become second nature to him. He no longer needed to process it in his mind to understand its meaning. 

 

Home. 

 

Adam was home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading :)
> 
> tumblr: theamagician


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